Gobbling Down Burger King’s Impossible Whopper ~ Monday’s Reviews

Flame Burgers on a Grill. "Gobbling Down Burger King's Impossible Whopper."

G’day everyone,

A few posts ago, I summarized two strong competitors in the Alt-Meat market. Skeptical, yet curious, I tried one of Burger King’s “Impossible Whoppers.”

Before learning about alt-meats, I heard a few Burger King commercials that Impossible Whopper was being served at our local Burger King. Fueled by the research, I eagerly ordered an Impossible Whopper.

So, here’s the layout: Imagine a soft, puffy, and sweetened Whopper bun crammed full of lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, and mustard. Then, below that mound was a quarter-inch thick slab of brown. It smelled similar to the real meat, and the patty’s texture was close - even the flavor was tolerable. Buried deep within that soft pillow of a bun and the crowd of toppings, the Impossible Whopper was edible.

Note that I didn’t say it was delicious. Now, the entire sandwich was very good, but so would a slice of shoe leather if drowning in as much stuff. It tasted like sugary-bun-lettuce-tomato-mustard-onions-and-pickles with a hint of meat flavor.

Honestly, it all tasted much better than I expected. Having said that, if my Whopper hadn’t come loaded with all those toppings on a sweet bun, like what’s tossed together in a regular Whopper, I doubt I would have finished eating the thing.

The alt-meat patty didn’t pull it off by itself. It just didn’t truly taste like meat; rather, it had a meat-ish flavor. There wasn’t enough of it within my Whopper to really say the alt-meat stood out. Made from soy, it did taste slightly better than other soybean patties from the past.

I became acutely aware of another difference between this piece of alt-meat and a traditional Whopper patty. Let’s just leave it that my proctologist might be glad to see that I’m effectively cleaned out — three years ahead of my next colonoscopy appointment. Wow, that Impossible Whopper seemed impossible to digest. It ricocheted around in my intestines for a few hours before exploding into the thunderbox. And let me tell you, it hurt as it played pinball with my intestines.

I’m not ready for alt-meats. I might try another Impossible Whopper during a moment of forgetfulness, but within one bite, I’ll know I’m in trouble.

Frankly, folks, I don’t believe Burger King’s Impossible Whopper is worth the modest up-charge — not yet anyway.

I’m still holding out for lab-grown meat — a mix of animal muscle proteins and stem cells. Sounds soupy, but it’s gotta be better than today’s alt-meats.

BTW, when I first heard about Burger King’s Impossible Whopper, I envisioned a mass of Hardees-like chunks of a bunch of meats, bacon, lots of cheese, and crammed full into some sort of monstrous pita-like thingie. Talk about not living up to expectations.

I give Burger King’s Impossible Whopper a 2 (out of 5), mainly because BK had the guts to put the odd patty out there this early in the game (realizing how important it is to be the first to market with a new product). The impossible Whopper does, indeed, taste like a dried-out slab of burger meat, but I’m not on board with it yet. Burger King was the first fast-food franchise to put a veggie patty out on its menu, but I doubt this latest incantation won’t be served for long. I hope they all continue testing and improving the Impossible Whopper. It might one day be delicious for real.

Have a meaningful day.

RJ